Tips for a successful trip to The Drunken Taco

Chemistry Teacher with Students in Class

Here are some helpful suggestions and tips to ensure a stellar experience at The Drunken Taco.

How to order / eat tacos:
– Start with our Famous Fish Tacos. Repeat, start with our Famous Fish Tacos.
– Order multiple varieties of tacos and share. Even if that’s with the table next to you.
– Don’t “decorate” your taco with the fixings. Throw them on there and get eating. This isn’t a beauty contest.
– Add 3-25 dabs of hot sauce.
– Burping is okay after a successful taco feast.

How to order / drink margaritas:
– For starters, go big or go home.
– Don’t be embarrassed to order a flavored margarita. John Wayne used to drink the Pink Guava.
– Drink at least 1 Drunken Tacorita per visit. It’s not our signature drink for nothing.
– Upgrade to premium tequila for even more deliciousness.
– Gulping is just as acceptable as sipping through your straw.

How to shoot tequila:
– Order something decent. Skimp on a vodka shot, never tequila.
– If need be, order it chilled (though this is offensive to the hard-core tequila shooter)
– Have a neighbor at the bar lick your hand (or wherever else you’re going to place the salt). If you receive a slap instead of a wet tongue, settle for licking your own hand.
– Shoot the tequila fast and steady. Regardless of how badly it just burned your throat, esophagus and small intestine, finish with a smile and place the glass lightly back on the bar.
– Throw the lime over your right shoulder for good luck.
– Repeat as necessary.

How to people watch:
– Wear dark sunglasses.
– Scan along a 90 degree angle for best coverage.
– To look at a particular person for an extended period of time, turn your head slightly to the side and use your peripheral vision.
– If someone suspects you’re watching them, do not look away. That’s tantamount to an admission of guilt. Instead, take a long, slow sip of your drink and continue gazing in their general direction. If they attempt to get your attention, act startled as if you had just noticed them for the first time.
– Never look directly into the sun.